The gift of Motherhood

The best part of my day comes early before the world is awake and going...its when I hear those sleepy footsteps come rushing to my bedroom. I smile into my pillow when I feel him scramble up and over me...its a king size bed with lots of pillows but I know within a few moments I will have my pillow stolen. He will cuddle up to me and I will pull him closer wrap him tighter in my arms...I don't fall back asleep as quickly as him...My brain has woke up too much...I marveled a second too long at the gift he is. So I say a prayer of thanks slowly saying thank you for each of my blessings..Haven..Soren... Brian...this new little baby wiggling in my stomach...asking that they be protected and watched over..the list goes on till I drift back to sleep...depending on what time it is I may only have a moment...if I am lucky a few hours....Hours of him close to me... breathing with me...his heart beating near me...we were this close once...closer..for 35 weeks he was mine all mine and now I share him with the world..My last thought before I drift back off is usually that I almost missed this magic...I almost missed out on these amazing tiny moments...we wake up noses almost pressed together...tangled in quilts and each others hair..looking directly into each others eyes...the sweetest smile with sparkling blue eyes is staring right at me...he usually pats my cheek in the way I guess I have his since he came into my life...He says hello Moma every morning...and my heart melts...every time...it never gets old...it never gets boring...hearing those words is magic every time...seeing that face is a gift.. I am so very thankful for the gift of being a Mom...for the moments I get to share with him..both of them...all of them...being a Mom is the greatest gift I have ever been given. I am so thankful each and everyday...for every moment...for every second that I was given of being a Mom. At 17 being told I had cancer and 2 weeks to live... to surviving but being told I would never have children... Sometimes like right now I see that gift so clearly... so sparkling, so shiny and new. I hold on to these moments... Because being a Mom isn't always pretty...it isn't always fun... sometimes it hurts sometimes its heartbreaking... but no matter what the day brings... I held 2 little lives in my stomach... and if I am blessed in January it will be 3... I have had more blessings in this lifetime than some people see in several. I have been given the gift of Motherhood...and will be forever thankful.