My Cancer Story...I was never going to tell here..part one

I was never going to tell this story here.. not because I am ashamed of it...not because I don't want people to know. I just kinda wanted this blog to be cooking and crafts..and crazy parenting stories. But I woke up this morning with the need to tell this story...with the need to let it be known... Which you know what that means to me. Someone out there needs to hear it right now. Someone out there is where I was.. So share this story..send people to this page if you know they are fighting and need to hear it... Even when they give you no hope... there is hope.. there is always hope. I am living proof of that. I will tell it in parts..because its a very long story..and although I am proud to have fought it...telling it for me is reliving it. To be honest with you.. I wouldn't change a thing. It made me who I am today.. it shaped me and my heart.

I'm 31 and a stay at home mom... of soon to be 3 kids. I can close my eyes and I would still be riding horses down trails.. slinging mud on four wheelers ...chasing chickens around.. waiting on Friday night or Saturday morning..because that's when the adventures always began. It didn't last long enough... those care-free kid days. I lost them at 17 years old. I went for a job that required a physical. A simple finger stick changed my life. A few days after that finger stick I was told my life was over. When I was 17 years old I was diagnosed with A.M.L. leukemia. A rare and aggressive cancer. At the time they found it 39 percent of my blood was cancer. I was told no one over 18 percent had every survived it. Therefore I was terminal. They gave me 2 weeks to live. Every time those doctors opened the door and came in they had bad news...horrible news. I was then offered an experimental chemo... If I took this chemo...my hair would fall out... I would never be able to have kids not that, that mattered because I would live maybe 4 weeks. Boy did they sell it good. To a 17 year old what they just describe was as good as saying your gonna die anyways how bout you be a guinea pig first. I refused the treatment. Because in GA 17 is a legal adult and they couldn't do anything to my body that I didn't approve of.  My Uncle lost his mind on me. My Uncle Bron... I was always close to the men  in my family. My Dad wasn't around much... well my biological Dad I didn't meet until I was 16 years old... and my Step-Dad whom came into my life at 2 years old didn't have much time for me. But my Papa... my Uncle Bron and my Uncle Greg had plenty of time for me. I was the first born grand-baby. I was born to a teen Mom. Who loved me but my grandparents were controlling.. and so they and my Mom raised me. I bounced back and fourth between everyone in my family though. I was a village baby. What I mean is everyone had a hand in raising me. So today the person I am is as much pieces of my Mom as it is pieces of my Uncles and Grandparents...all squished into the pieces that could be only me. Back to my Uncle. I was in Atlanta 80 miles away...he drove towards me like on a mission. I believe I could even feel him heading for me. I waited in my hospital bed dreading what was coming... In stomps Uncle Bron... I figured he was mad he wasn't he was crying. Not openly but I could look in his eyes and read it. The tears he wasn't shedding in front of me. I could feel his fear..his sadness and his anger. He loved me...he wanted me to fight... we are fighters by nature.. Way too much Irish courses through our veins to lay down and take it. He begged he pleaded and eventually he conned me into it. So I took those treatments. He stayed with me through round one. Asked me if I needed or wanted anything... he would get it for me. I did. So I rattled off my list. Pizza Hut Pan Pizza with pepperoni and extra cheese, a tattoo and a corvette. He looked at me with a serious face and said I will get the pizza now... I will pay for the tattoo and hold your hand if the Dr clears it...and you will have that Corvette as soon as I can find you one.. He left and went all over Atlanta in search of Pizza Hut...  Its not one of the main chains down there so it took him an hour to find one and get back. By that time I was set up for my first chemo. I sat there with chemicals pouring into that central line that had only been placed this morning. My first in what would be a long line of surgeries. I couldn't feel the chemo going in. Just like they said. I wouldn't feel any pain from it... that would come later. Anyways my Uncle Bron walked in with the pizza and sat it down. I couldn't eat. I was a bundle of nerves. He walked over to the window and said here is your Corvette...pointing to what I thought was outside. I got up excited the chemo forgotten for a moment... and padded over to the window to look down. I couldn't see a corvette in the cars below.. He said its there keep looking. So I did I kept looking... finally I turned to him and he said look down. I looked down and sitting on the window sill was a hot wheel corvette. I busted out laughing.. Called him a jerk and got back in bed. He cleared the nerves out...and so I was ready for pizza... I ate that pizza only to feel the first of the side effects kick in just a few hours later and lose that pizza.. which he was also there for.. there to hold my hand for the first treatment and he was there to hold my hair back for the first of the side effects.... he was there beside me for the whole journey...off and on... the village that raised me was all there at one point or another.... I am looking at the corvette now. It sits on my desk.. it sits on my desk and reminds me everyday...everyday is a gift..and someone I love...loved me enough to beg me to value that gift...even if it was for 2 weeks... or a month. I am just blessed it has been 14 years now... Sadly the man who loved me so much is no longer with us... he knew more about the gift of life than I realized at that time.

To be continued.....
This was just part one of a very long story...

Sum it up Sunday....Apple Bread

Well to sum up my weekend its been pretty good. We had alot of fun.. it got cold here all the sudden. Friday found us out for ice cream cones and playing at the park... but Saturday was hoodie weather..and today it time for a cup of hot cocoa. I woke up this morning and got started on a few household chores... laundry and cleaning up from last night. Weekends always do that.. They are lots of fun but they destroy the house. I started a loaf of apple bread so the kiddos would have something to munch on today....and now tonight I am making something I have never done before. Have you seen Dorito Casserole? Sounds horrible... and it may very well be.. but it is what my husband picked out after I rattled off things I could do with some of the left over cooked chicken.  Jury is still out. I found a few recipes and then I kinda of winged it with other ingredients..because I can't follow a recipe to save my life...or so my husband says...lol. Here is my recipe for Apple Bread... Try it out. The family loves it. See you later this week darlings.. Since I have absolutely no plans to try and kill myself with a big project again... freezer cooking in small doses is about all this preggo chick can handle.
 

Apple Bread

1 1/2 cups flour
 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon of salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1 cup sugar
 1/2 cup melted butter
1/4 cup applesauce
 2 eggs
 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups peeled and chopped apples

Preheat your oven to 350. Spray a 9 by 5 loaf pan with nonstick spray. Combine the flour baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg and sugar. Stir with a whisk till equally combined. Add in the butter, applesauce eggs and vanilla and stir until combined. Fold in your apples and any add ins*. Scrape the batter into your pan and bake for 50-60 minutes until a toothpick inserted into the middle of the loaf comes out clean.

*good add ins are 1/2 cup of raisins or a 1/2 cup or chopped pecans.

P.S. Isn't that bread pretty... lets keep it real here... the reason you only get to see one side of the loaf... my 3 year old helped himself to a hunk while it was cooling..lol Check out the links below where you can find my bread recipe and lots of other cool links...


Sew Can Do-Craftastic Monday

Project Inspire-Just Something I whipped up

You are Talking too Much-Meet Me Monday

Or So She Says-Great Ideas

DIY Home Sweet Home-MMM #80

Sumo's Sweet Stuff-Market Yourself Monday

Mom's Crazy Cooking-This weeks craving

Adventures of a DIY Mom-Terrific Tuesday

Home Stories A to Z-Tutorials and Tips

Not just a Housewife-Show me what you got!

Family Food and Travel-Wonderful Food Wednesday

Sew Much Ado-We did it Wednesday!

Southern Lovely-Show and Share

Someday Crafts-Whatever Goes Wednesday

Creations by Kara-Look What I made!

Losing track of time

Well I have been inactive blog wise for a few days. I don't want to let it fall by the wayside. I like writing and building friendships here online. But sometimes life swallows me up.. Its a busy thing taking care of a 3 year old, a 2 year old and being pregnant. I have been freezer cooking since Monday. I cant do alot or get it done all at once. I have been having contractions.. So I have to do everything in stages. I am only 27 weeks pregnant so contractions are not a good thing. I did this with both the boys. I go early. My husband is 6ft 5in tall and just doesn't make small babies...and despite being a plus size girl from what my Dr says I am just built small on the inside so... Here is what I have done since Monday. I did 2 pans of chicken enchiladas... 2 pans of a chicken and broccoli casserole. I baked banana bread. I have cut and bagged almost 40 lbs of chicken... I have the chicken cooked so that tomorrow I can assemble... Chicken spinach manicotti... mexican chicken casserole... Chicken Parmesan and a few other things. The great thing about the chicken parm is I just breaded and cooked the chicken breasts...flash froze them so now all I have to do when we want to eat them is bake for 20 mins and they can be eaten with or without sauce... It gave me the idea for some chicken parmesan sandwiches too. I know it doesn't seem like alot but while I am doing all this I have to stop...fix and clean breakfast up... stop fix and clean lunch...and stop fix and clean up from dinner.. I have a big doctors appointment tomorrow for the sugar test... blah I hate that orange sugar syrup they make you drink. It makes me sick every time. I am going to stop by and get me a iced coffee as a treat after... have a small caffeine fix and hopefully come home and get this stuff done and over with so I can have a great weekend. I have to tell you the enchilada sauce I made may be the best I have ever got done. I have some left over in the fridge and I have an idea to make a chicken enchilada stack for dinner this weekend. What have yal been up to? Anything fun? I could use some fun right now.. fun to fight the exhaustion. Hopefully I will be back with some recipes as soon as I get this done...

Cas <3

I am still here just working away....Freezer Cooking

I just wanted to say to any comments or new followers I have got in the last few days I will get back to you as soon as I can. We had a busy weekend... very full with fall plans. We had leaf fights and picnics...and campfire cooking. Lots of wonderful family time. Yesterday I was exhausted because 27 weeks pregnant and non-stop go-go-go with two very active boys is a recipe for being wore out. I did take the time to start gathering what I needed for today.... Today's adventure is freezer cooking. I plan on making at least 5 meals that can go in the freezer... This is very unplanned but hey go with the inspiration right? So far the main ingredient is chicken breast. Because that's what I recently got a good deal on. I got 40lbs of organic chicken breasts for 1.99lb. So part of it will be trimmed and cut up and just bagged for meals. Then half of it is going to be made into the actual meal and frozen. First up Chicken Enchiladas... I have to cook the chicken and make the enchilada sauce.. Then I am going to do some chicken spinach manicotti... I am going to throw together a bag or so of a crockpot meal..that way it just dumps and cooks...I also am going to do a couple of different chicken casseroles. I am winging it today but I will certainly post a list of what I was able to accomplish. Do any of you do any kind of freezer cooking? If so what is your go to recipes?


So just know all my wonderful new friends I am not ignoring you... I promise I will be back.. just as soon as I get my head above the water...or out of the freezer...or away from the stove...lol.

Weekend Wishes

We have plans this weekend...lots of beautiful fall plans. So far a camp fire with a hot dog and marshmallow roast. Raking leaves pretending to fuss when my monsters jump in them. A picnic to a local historic battlefield location. So I may not post again until Monday... Till then I wanted to wish each and everyone one of my followers a Merry Weekend...a Happy Weekend... a Magical Weekend.

Just in case you can't read it it says:
-And above all watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places those who don't believe in magic will never find it.

So this weekend I urge you...no matter what life throws at you...no matter what is going on... take a minute and find the magic. Its there you just have to look. Now lets go see if this night owl can magically make herself go to sleep.

The gift of Motherhood

The best part of my day comes early before the world is awake and going...its when I hear those sleepy footsteps come rushing to my bedroom. I smile into my pillow when I feel him scramble up and over me...its a king size bed with lots of pillows but I know within a few moments I will have my pillow stolen. He will cuddle up to me and I will pull him closer wrap him tighter in my arms...I don't fall back asleep as quickly as him...My brain has woke up too much...I marveled a second too long at the gift he is. So I say a prayer of thanks slowly saying thank you for each of my blessings..Haven..Soren... Brian...this new little baby wiggling in my stomach...asking that they be protected and watched over..the list goes on till I drift back to sleep...depending on what time it is I may only have a moment...if I am lucky a few hours....Hours of him close to me... breathing with me...his heart beating near me...we were this close once...closer..for 35 weeks he was mine all mine and now I share him with the world..My last thought before I drift back off is usually that I almost missed this magic...I almost missed out on these amazing tiny moments...we wake up noses almost pressed together...tangled in quilts and each others hair..looking directly into each others eyes...the sweetest smile with sparkling blue eyes is staring right at me...he usually pats my cheek in the way I guess I have his since he came into my life...He says hello Moma every morning...and my heart melts...every time...it never gets old...it never gets boring...hearing those words is magic every time...seeing that face is a gift.. I am so very thankful for the gift of being a Mom...for the moments I get to share with him..both of them...all of them...being a Mom is the greatest gift I have ever been given. I am so thankful each and everyday...for every moment...for every second that I was given of being a Mom. At 17 being told I had cancer and 2 weeks to live... to surviving but being told I would never have children... Sometimes like right now I see that gift so clearly... so sparkling, so shiny and new. I hold on to these moments... Because being a Mom isn't always pretty...it isn't always fun... sometimes it hurts sometimes its heartbreaking... but no matter what the day brings... I held 2 little lives in my stomach... and if I am blessed in January it will be 3... I have had more blessings in this lifetime than some people see in several. I have been given the gift of Motherhood...and will be forever thankful.

Pumpkin Butter...and a temper tantrum

Its that time of year...pumpkin pumpkin everywhere. There are alot of ways to use pumpkin. Since I am a Fallaholic...yes that's right I am officially addicted to Fall. Its my favorite time of year. I thought I would show you one of my favorite pumpkin recipes. Its pumpkin butter. Have you ever had a fruit butter? Like apple butter is pretty common...and peach butter is out there.. Basically what you do is you take pumpkin and some ingredients and then cook it low and slow. It is awesome served on toast, bagels, scones or a hot buttered biscuit. I have a few ways I like to use it that I will post recipes for.. but first things first I got to show you how I make it. Because you cant make the other recipes...if you don't have the star ingredient.

Now I really like to make things homemade. Its fun for me. Generally my pumpkin butter is no exception. I love to get a pie pumpkin cut it and roast it and make homemade puree. I tried to do that this time. Except I bought an indestructible pumpkin. Nothing I did would cut it. I have never had this happen before. I used my sharpest knife...and then I sharpened it even further. I may or may not have went to my husbands tool box and got a screwdriver and hammer...ahem.. NOTHING WORKED! I then may or may not have had a little temper tantrum where I threw the pumpkin down outside on a concrete porch...and that pumpkin may or may not have BOUNCED...into the yard like nothing happened. Needless to say after gathering my Southern belle composure (haha) I proceeded with the recipe using a can of pumpkin. So check it out...this is the method before pumpkin madness...


Pumpkin Butter

1 can of pumpkin

1/2 c + 1 T. Brown Sugar

1 t. cinnamon

1 t. pumpkin pie spice
1/2 t. cloves
2 T. Orange Juice
3 T. Apple Juice
2 t. vanilla
1/4 -1/2 c. pecans

 Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Toast the pecans for 5-7 minutes. Put the pecans in your food processor and make a paste...adding a little pumpkin puree if you need to. I literally had to process it for almost 5 minutes with my little mini processor. Put all your ingredients in a sauce pan.. bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 35-45 minutes. Taste along the way and feel free to sweeten additionally or add more spices to your taste.This will keep in the refrigerator for 2-3 weeks... or you can freeze it for 6 months

*you see those weird spaces up there... pretend it was on purpose and not just that I repel technology and blogger hates me...because no matter what I do...they wont go away!! Even my husband computer guru extrodianar tried and looked at me and said well you did it again...you broke technology.

I am linking up at the following:

Someday Crafts-Whatever goes Wednesday

Mom's Crazy Cooking-This weeks Craving

Southern Lovely-Show and Share

Sew Much A Do-We did it Wednesday

At Home, Take 2-Wonderful Food Wednesday

Somewhat Simple-Blog Linky Party

Farm Girl Friday

Blissful and Domestic-Friday Feature

Western WarmthWeekend Warmth

French Country Cottage-Feathered Nest Friday

Kitchen Fun With My 3 Sons-Kitchen Fun and crafty friday

 

Simply Designing-Simply Linky

 

The Shabby Nest-Frugal Friday

 

Lovely Crafty Home-Lovely crafty Weekend

 

Just us Four-Pinworthy Projects

 

Homemade Simple-Foodie Friday

 

Clever Chicks Blog Hop

 

Tatertots and Jello-Weekend Wrap up

 

Six Sisters-Strut Your Stuff

 

Or So She Says-Your Great Idea

Sew-licious Recipe Hop

 

Project Inspire-Just something I whipped up

 

You are talking too much-Meet me monday

 

DIY Home Sweet Home-MMM #79